Today we bring you 5 games that are really upbeat and work like your uncle at your cousin’s marriage, but are starting to show signs of fatigue and really need to take a break before they collapse from exhaustion.
Telltale Games
Playing The Walking Dead is like getting punched repeatedly in the gut multiple times. But in a good way.
Telltale are the folks behind the successful franchises such as The Wolf Among Us and The Walking Dead, and are singlehandedly responsible for bringing back the Adventure game genre from the dead. They now have franchises such as Batman, Back to the Future, Game of Thrones, Borderlands, Minecraft, and am I the only onee who sees the burnout potential here? You CAN have too much of a good thing. People do, after all, get sick on chocolate ice-cream.
LEGO Games
Wheeeeee! I love setting stuff on fire! Oh, did I say it out loud? Shit.
LEGO games are LEGO versions of games/movies/anything and are mostly fun children’s games where the characters are cute little mute things who collect studs and build stuff after dismantling other stuff. What I mean is it’s LEGOs. And there’s a new one every few months or so, every time something of pop culture relevance happens. Every. Goddamn. Time. not to sound like Grinch on Christmas eve, but it’s getting tiresome and old now. What do you mean they’re for children? So are Malteses, doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy Malteses.
Far Cry
Ziggy’s Mod is the most fun you can have in Far Cry 3
I love Far Cry. I loved Far Cry 2, with all the malaria and jammed guns. I loved Far Cry 3, with all the WUBWUBWUB and jungles and no malaria at all, whatsoever. I even loved Far Cry 4, with all it’s painted elephants and mosquito sounding Himalyan helicoptors. Not Far Cry 1 though, Jack’s shirt was just too, ah, fabulous for my plebeian tastes.
But Ubisoft apparently plan on making this the new Assassin’s Creed, by releasing the same game in a new sandbox every damn year. Far Cry 3 and Far Cry 4 are almost identical (except Far Cry 3 doesn’t curse at you in your mother tongue)
Remakes of Games From the Dawn of Time (Also Known As “Previous Gen” Era)
Final Fantasy VII, with more GRAFIX!!111!!
Look, remastering old games which are genuinely inaccessible (Final Fantasy VII comes to mind) is just fine, but today’s remakes are inane, overpriced, revisionary, overproduced and overpriced. (Final Fantasy VII comes to mind. Did I mention it’s overpriced?) The worst is when they greenlight remakes of mediocre games of the last generation over the games which genuinely need a remaster (Halo 4 over, say, Fable II).
Valve Games (of late)
Hat Simulator 2 is kind of fun, but where’re all dem new games at?
Before I open, Praise GabeN, the Giver of Cheap Games. May the Next Sale be Soon and Bountiful. Now having said that, what the hell is wrong with you Valve? Where are the games? Will you just be pimping skins for CS:GO, DOTA and Hat Simulator 2 the rest of your life? Oh for the love of- I’ll stop beating around the bush: Where’s Half Life 3? Where’s Portal 3? Why haven’t Valve announced a new IP since forever? Why do they put pineapples on pizzas? Is God really dead?
For more idiotic introspection, check Gaming Central
