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Testosterone Frenzy: Gears Of War Review

Ladies and gentlemen, get behind cover because today we are going back to a time where men drank steroid juice and ate testosterone sandwich for breakfast, and considered enemy intestines as suitable weapon skins for their guns, with most of them having chainsaws attached to them, if ever they needed to cut trees while killing foes. Come to think of it, they should’ve had that in Vietnam.

Yes folks we’re talking about Gears of War.

A tale of overly manly men who don’t have time to bleed. (Cuz only women bleed) One unfortunate morning their home planet gets attacked by by locusts, only not the kind sent by Yawheh upon the Egyptians in order to free his beloved people. These locusts are bigger, though they do come in swarms.

You play as Marcus Fenix, a hulking piece of meat who had been court martialed and imprisoned. Though all offences are forgiven when shit hits the fan, and he’s quickly called in to join the ranks, and lead the Delta unit. So the Locust we mentioned before were living below of the planet’s surface, and take great pleasure in digging tunnels. The conflict begins when humans also go digging tunnels looking for an energy source with unlimited energy potential called Imulsion.

The plan is to drop a big ass bomb down the tunnels, and turn all the Locusts into a rather undesirable flavor of soup. And the Delta team is all about executing that plan. They go down on the town, mowing down enemies with an arsenal of weaponry so brutal, even touching some of them can lead to a tetanus infections. There’s the classic Lancer, an assault rifle served with a side of chainsaw, that has become iconic to the Gears franchise. An array of other equally terminal weapons follow suit, ranging from the humble pistole to the terraforming Hammer Of Dawn.

The weapons are fun and immensely satisfying to use, and you use them mostly sticking behind cover, which is the second most important aspect of the gameplay. The game is a cover based third person at its core, and it does it really well. The cover mechanics are snappy, and roadie running from cover to cover feels fluid. For guys built like brick walls, they do hide behind cover a lot.

Gears of War has come a long way since then, consistently raising the bar. Not only is the gameplay fun, it’s also a visual treat. The story has its ups and downs, but goes strong for the most part. The burly men do have a penchant for the feels, and it’s all pretty well done.

While the main trilogy has Fenix as the main character, Judgement branches off to follow Baird.

With Gears of War 4 on the way, there’s never been a better time to play or replay the games in the franchise. With brutally fun gameplay, excellent cover mechanics, and an engaging story, Gears of War is a must play.

And for more news and reviews, keep checking back at Gaming Central.

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